A Cry for Yelp: Four Great Ways to Show Coworkers That You Are Getting Hungry Without Going to Their Cubicle to Make Them Look up Pictures of Deli Meats

Lunch time!

We’ve all been there: You check the time on your work-issued Dell laptop from 2006 (the same laptop that may or may not have been used to write pieces of the Old Testament). Surprise, it’s only 11:10. As you stifle a bloodcurdling scream, a familiar sensation begins to explode in your chest and flood outwards to your hyper-extended fingers. The little shadow being cast by the burning fluorescence above your single file cabinet begins to loom a little more ominously. The frantic pecking of your heart against your rib cage only adds to the now deafening cacophony of water rushing in your ears. The tapping of your loser cubicle mate Greg becomes pendulous and you begin to wonder if this is the impending knocking of some spectral office manager walking towards your cubicle door. If you are like me then I need not continue this neo-gothic nightmare: You are hungry! Continue reading “A Cry for Yelp: Four Great Ways to Show Coworkers That You Are Getting Hungry Without Going to Their Cubicle to Make Them Look up Pictures of Deli Meats”

A Year in Review from Someone That Spent All of 2017 Getting Fit and Reading Self-Help Books and Not Playing the Sims 4 Until Both Their Fingers and Eyes Bled

Bring on 2018!

Dear Readers,

First off, let me wish you a belated happy New Year. 2017 has been a year of surprises and personal accomplishments, including (but not limited to) gaining 20 lbs of pure muscle, finishing several key books to better myself, and one hundred percent not building my dream house in the popular PC video game Sims 4. Continue reading “A Year in Review from Someone That Spent All of 2017 Getting Fit and Reading Self-Help Books and Not Playing the Sims 4 Until Both Their Fingers and Eyes Bled”

“Take Her to the Biker’s Inn?” I Thought That You Told Me to Take a Lot of Vicodin

Whoops!

Oh jeez. Did you really tell me to take her to the Biker’s Inn? That explains why your mom looked so mad. I was like, “Why would she tell me to take a lot of Vicodin to pick her mom up at the airport?” I don’t even know why you thought that I HAD Vicodin, but I guess that it’s lucky that I did. Yikes, now I don’t know if I can take your mom to the Biker’s Inn at all. Continue reading ““Take Her to the Biker’s Inn?” I Thought That You Told Me to Take a Lot of Vicodin”