A Cry for Yelp: Four Great Ways to Show Coworkers That You Are Getting Hungry Without Going to Their Cubicle to Make Them Look up Pictures of Deli Meats

Lunch time!

We’ve all been there: You check the time on your work-issued Dell laptop from 2006 (the same laptop that may or may not have been used to write pieces of the Old Testament). Surprise, it’s only 11:10. As you stifle a bloodcurdling scream, a familiar sensation begins to explode in your chest and flood outwards to your hyper-extended fingers. The little shadow being cast by the burning fluorescence above your single file cabinet begins to loom a little more ominously. The frantic pecking of your heart against your rib cage only adds to the now deafening cacophony of water rushing in your ears. The tapping of your loser cubicle mate Greg becomes pendulous and you begin to wonder if this is the impending knocking of some spectral office manager walking towards your cubicle door. If you are like me then I need not continue this neo-gothic nightmare: You are hungry! Continue reading “A Cry for Yelp: Four Great Ways to Show Coworkers That You Are Getting Hungry Without Going to Their Cubicle to Make Them Look up Pictures of Deli Meats”

Four Times I Had to Defend the Honour of Dentyne Fire Cinnamon Gum

There’s nothing more powerful than a stick of Cinnamon gum

I love Dentyne Fire (DF) cinnamon gum more than anyone in the world. The WORLD. I request that all of my partners chew a piece of Dentyne Fire Cinnamon Gum before every encounter. My father has a DF Cinnamon Gum-shaped scar in his abdomen for telling me that he preferred Dentyne Ice. How many other people do you know that sleep with a single piece of Dentyne Fire under their pillow? What’s my happiest memory of DF? A trick question. Every moment of that sweet cinnamon sorbitol gracing my tongue is a happy memory. I believe that it was famed pervert Charles Bukowski that once said “find what you love and let it kill you.” Well I hope to die from choking on a piece of Dentyne Fire Cinnamon Gum.

Of course, when you love Dentyne Fire Cinnamon Gum like I do, you are bound to meet some detractors. Here are 4 times that I was forced to defend Dentyne Fire Cinnamon Gum:

Continue reading “Four Times I Had to Defend the Honour of Dentyne Fire Cinnamon Gum”